EFT emotionally focused for couples
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a proven approach to deepen emotional connections and resolve relationship challenges. Explore how EFT at Gorog Health can help you and your partner build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship through enhanced communication and emotional understanding.
What is this Type of Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy accepts that emotions are strongly linked to our identity. They act as guides that can help us make decisions daily. People who often avoid their emotions or who lack emotional awareness cause more harm than good. Often used in couples therapy, it can rekindle the physical and emotional bond that may be stifled by one or both partners.
With guidance from a therapist, couples are led to discover unmet needs, share vulnerability, and have conversations that open the doors for expressions of tenderness.
What are the Steps?
A course of treatment typically consists of eight to twenty sessions held once a week. The couple’s history and present interactions will provide valuable insight into their life outside of the therapy office. The first phase is dedicated to A) Understanding the most pressing issues and B) Learning the skills to de-escalate emotional reactivity that a distressed couple often experiences.
The second stage is dedicated to restoring the bond the couple once shared. The goal is to create a safe space so both partners can share (and even explore) their emotions constructively. Couples learn to comfort each other and establish a baseline level of emotional safety in communicating their negative feelings.
The final stage consolidates the new skills learned in couples therapy. In stage 1, couples learned de-escalation skills. In stage 2, couples learned how to provide comfort and security in expressing vulnerable and hard-to-talk-about emotional truths.
In stage 3, the therapist will ask questions about how the couple is navigating new challenges in their daily lives. Patients get comfortable expressing and communicating emotions. Once both individuals have learned to collectively handle conflict in their relationship, couples therapy through emotional-focused therapy is completed.
How does it work?
Emotional Focused Therapy works, as mentioned above, in three stages:
De-escalation + Assessment
- Identifying Negative Interaction Habits – This can be fighting, stonewalling, raising voice, etc
- Accessing Deeper Emotions – Couples are asked to assess what the underlying emotion they are experiencing
- Creating a Safe Space – The therapist can then create a safe space for couples to express their vulnerabilities and fears
Restructuring the Relationship
- Identifying Attachment Needs: The couple explores their attachment needs and how they are met or unmet in the relationship.
- Creating New Emotional Experiences: The therapist helps the couple create opportunities to experience new, positive emotional connections.
- Developing New Interaction Patterns: The couple learns to interact in ways that promote intimacy and connection.
Consolidation + Integration
- Strengthening the New Bond: With opportunities to express emotions safely, real intimacy can occur.
- Developing Problem-Solving Skills: When new obstacles arise, couples with new communication and coping skills gained through EFT can problem-solve effectively.
- Creating a Vision for the Future: A shared vision for the future can be co-created with effort from the couple.
How does it help?
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples helps by addressing intimacy issues that may have been caused by avoiding emotions. Integral to EFT is owning our emotions and expressing them in healthy ways. When these skills are acquired, couples are better equipped to handle different challenges and adversities in life.
What is it used for?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is primarily used for couples therapy but can also be used for family counseling or group therapy. The core principles can help people relate to each other in more constructive ways, whether that be two or more people.
Who does this type of therapy make sense for?
EFT makes sense for any relationship that is struggling with infidelity, gambling, addiction, constant fighting, or communication/trust issues. The same approach can be helpful for families experiencing discord.
What Makes Us Qualified for This Type of Treatment?
Dr. Gorog spent two years obtaining her Master’s in Clinical Counseling and then obtained her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology which is the highest level of preparation and training a mental health professional can complete to offer the most comprehensive mental health treatment and therapy. Her doctorate program included 5 years of full-time study involving coursework, research, a practicum, a dissertation, and one year on a doctoral internship. Currently, she has now over 12 years of experience and practice as a mental health professional.
- Acceptance: With a trained psychotherapist, learning to accept events, both past and possible future events, is the first step in undergoing contextual behavioral therapy.
- Mindfulness: By staying present with the emotions that come up, you’ll be able to acknowledge feelings without getting caught up in them.
- Values Clarification: At this stage, questions of values typically arise. At this juncture, a trained psychotherapist can ask you questions that allow you to reflect on what values you adhere to. Usually, these values are not chiseled, and a trained therapist helps you clarify them.
- Committed Action: Once this discovery is made, committed action is required. The final aspect of contextual behavioral therapy is having a therapist help you decide on what goals are meaningful to you and stick to them.
What Does A Timeline Look Like?
How long symptoms take to resolve depends on the severity of the psychological issue. For people who’ve suffered a near-death experience and suffer from PTSD might take longer than someone who faces social anxiety. It also depends on the individual’s willingness, to be honest and be flexible in the therapeutic process.
Someone who’s successfully completed EFT will have built skills to manage and understand their emotions more effectively, enabling others to do the same. This type of therapy takes anywhere from 8 to 20 sessions. It will take longer if the patient has historically avoided feeling or talking about emotions. This type of patient might take longer than 20 sessions. Full cooperation and vulnerability are required for a successful therapeutic intervention.
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